BBL: I Gotta Go Take an App

College is a wonderful time, where I discover I have almost no time to write something not due for class. But since I’m finally on break, I have a chance to crank out a few articles before being dragged back! So, for my return article back, I’ll be looking at…apps! With more smartphones being bought now, it seems more and more useful to take a look at some apps, both free and purchased, and many unknown on a large scale. Now I’ll be doing some brief looks at a few apps, what they feature, cost, and whether you should buy them.

And before you start wondering, no, I won’t be doing Angry Birds, since I have a plan for it later. The same goes for Doodlejump and Plants vs. Zombies. The simple answer, they’re fun, they cost [no?] money. So yea, let’s start with some apps in no particular order.

You can't catch me!

1. Texting of the Bread

Now when I got my iPod this was a game I knew I would get. From Screwattack, this game is based on the classic “Typing of the Dead.” The goal of the game is simple: type out various words to defeat an army of zombie gingerbread men. So as they come at you type out the highlighted words to drench those rotten cookies. You have two characters to play as, “The Ginger” based off former Scewattack member Corey, and “The Nerd” based off the Angry Video Game Nerd. With three styles of play (freeplay, survival, and arcade.) The levels vary, some having a constant stream of thought, some nonsense, and some are in l33t speak, which is really annoying if you’re someone who hates seeing bad spelling on your Facebook. But the game is fun, can be played for an outstanding amount of time, and may even help you get used to typing on a touchpad.

Price: 0.99

Android: Not Yet

Recommended: Yes

Eat your heart out Slippy!

2. Frog Minutes

An app from Grasshopper Manufacture?  The guys behind No More Heroes, Shadows of the Damned, and Killer 7? Yes! This one is…different; no blood and gore, but…frogs…and insects. Yep, the objective in this one is to grab an assortment of bugs (crickets, grasshoppers, dragonflies, etc.) and use them to catch a variety of frogs. It’s probably one of the most soothing apps out there. The only noise is the ribbits from frogs and other nature sounds. You also learn interesting facts about all the frogs you catch. Now as much as I like this game, I have one issue: the achievements are too vague. I’ve had one left for months and no idea how to get it. It simply says that a certain species that frogs like to eat is on screen. Otherwise, this is a fun, easy-going app that can be a nice change if you’re stressed because that one stupid pig will not die!

Price: 0.99

Android: No

Recommended: Yes

Flying Turtles...better than being stomped on, thats for sure!

3. Turtle Fly 2

If turtle can fly, so does human! That…really confuses people, but it explains the game. Yes in TurtleFly you play as a turtle, which is given a jetpack and various upgrades to see just how high a turtle can fly! Basically you want to see how high you can fly, which earns you money, which helps you upgrade all your equipment….to fly higher. So it’s circular logic, but a cute little game. Now the game does feature other animals, but they cost money and are sort of pointless. It’s a fun game, though it can get boring once you have all the power ups.

Price: 0.99

Android: No

Recommended: Yep

That little flame is calling your mom fat

4. Burn the Rope

No. This game is awful! It is terrible! The worst thing I could ever imagine! You want to know the goal? Burn a rope by tilting your iPod. Simple, right? The first level takes no time at all. The second level? It is hell in an app. It doesn’t work. The fire goes in two directions and will die if you don’t turn it the right way. I hate everything about this app. I wish this app could have children so I could eat them so the game suffers like I have. I hate this app completely and regret ever having it downloaded.

Price: why do you care? You won’t buy it.

Android: why would this monstrosity be allowed to spread?

Recommended: not to my former roommate who ate my goldfish. I love my goldfish. And hate him.

Deep...So Deep

5. Deep Deep Dungeon Special

It’s basically a dungeon crawler, each level is set up by traversing squares one by one, with each level having a certain-DEAR LORD BURN THE ROPE IS THE WORST THING I EVER PLAYED!

Right….so in DDDS there is a listed number of monsters, and you have a bar with a hit range that varies based on your weapon. But really, besides the sword, where the strike range is in one spot, the rest have a weird set up. While it may just be me, most weapons feel ineffective and more challenge than they’re worth. You can simply buy the sword upgrades, armor upgrades, and potions and your money will be far better spent. The monsters you face vary in how they take damage and such, so it doesn’t get boring until you near the end of a dungeon or you face them so much you know just how to beat them. It’s an OK game, which I got for free, but it does usually carry a price tag. I can’t say it’s worth it.

Price: 0.99

Android: no

Recommended: if it goes free again, yes.

...I just cleaned the Lawn!

6. Infect Them All

So this game was free around Halloween and I decided to download cause…well I was bored and had a lunch break. In this game you pick one of a set of zombies to start with (varying health and skills) then you use your zombie to head into crowded areas and slowly spread your infection to civilians. When gnawing on someone you can either use their mushy brain matter to recover your health (spoiler: that depletes) or to continue infecting. You can power up your undead to improve damage you can take and the usual upgrades. And while the game starts off normal (for zombie scenarios) it leads into you dealing with superheroes and ninjas. It’s pretty goofy, and now it seems to have a vampire mode to go with it, and it’s pretty fun; making sure your zombie lives can be a challenge. Sadly there aren’t many other modes and I’ve yet to check out the vampire mode, but this is a fun little time waster if you have 10 minutes or so.

Price: 0.99

Android: Yes

Recommend: Yes

Reminds me of South Park

7. Cows vs Aliens

At first, I thought this was a weird rip off of Plants vs Zombies, though I was happy to discover it isn’t. You play as a…lasso…trying to herd as many cows into the barn as you can within the allotted time to keep them from being abducted. The weird thing though, is you can knock a bunch of the cows off a cliff, and you never get in trouble for it. Hell, it’s easier at times. The game also features special cows that can give you more time, or call all cows on screen in; there are power ups as well, but they take a long time to earn, and don’t seem overly worth it. So while this is amusing, I wouldn’t hold my breath for it, but I guess there’s a Christmas version now so…yay?

Price: 0.99

Android: Yes

Recommend: Not really

Wow, this is taking a bit longer than I thought. Yeah, I think I’ll be making this with a part two. Hopefully soon!

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About steampunkphreak

A 3rd year college student, majoring in Adolescent Education. A gamer nearly my whole life I was raised on gameboys and have continued on ever since. A fan of games with a unique feel to it (Bioshock, No More Heroes, No More Heroes: desperate Struggle, Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy Kong's quest, TF2, Kirby's Epic Yarn, Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, Portal, Portal 2). View all posts by steampunkphreak

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